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Surrey Girl Jokes

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Surrey Girls, Oct 26, 2014.

  1. Surrey Girls

    Surrey Girls Guest

    How does a Surrey girl turn on the light in the morning?
    Kick open the car door.

    What does a Surrey girl and a turtle have in common?
    They both get fucked when they're on their back.

    What's the difference between Surrey girl and a man?
    Surrey girls have higher sperm counts.

    What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a puppet?
    You can only get one hand up a puppet.

    What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a refrigerator?
    A refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out of it.

    What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a condom?
    You only use a condom once.

    What's the difference between getting piles and breaking off an engagement with a Surrey girl?
    When the piles clear up, you get your ring back.

    What's the difference between a Surrey girl and Lionel Ritchie?
    Lionel Ritchie doesn't bleach his mustache.

    What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a fish and chip shop?
    You can't get crabs in a fish and chip shop.

    What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a plate of spaghetti?
    A plate of spaghetti moves when you eat it.

    What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a supermarket cart?
    A supermarket cart has a mind of its own.

    What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a washing machine?
    You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for a week.

    What's the difference between a Surrey girl and the Titanic?
    Fewer people went down on the Titanic.

    What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a carpenter?
    A Surrey girl has longer nails.

    What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a German Shepherd dog?
    Lip gloss.

    What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a CBC radio station?
    Only 40% of British Columbia can pick up CBC.

    What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a Club Med 18-30 holiday?
    On the Club Med 18-30 holiday, there's only a 98% chance of sex.

    How could a Surrey mom tell that her daughter is on the rag?
    There's blood on her son's cock.

    How do you circumcise a Surrey guy?
    Upper cut his sister in the chin.

    Why wasn't Jesus born in Surrey?
    They could not find 3 wise men and a virgin.

    What do Surrey girls put behind there ears to attract men?
    Their ankles.

    What's the first thing a Surrey girl does in the morning?
    Gets up and goes home.

    What does a Surrey girl and grilled cheese sandwich have in common?
    Ever open a grilled cheese sandwich?

    Why do Surrey girls like tilt steering?
    More head room.

    What do Surrey girls use for protection during sex?
    A bus shelter.

    What does a Surrey girl and a bucket of KFC have in common?
    Once your done with the legs and thighs, all you're left with is a greasy box.

    Why do Surrey girls like sunroofs?
    More leg room.

    What's the difference between a Surrey girl and an ironing board?
    It's hard to open the legs on a ironing board.

    What do you call a Surrey girl with a dollar bill on top of her head?
    All you can eat under a buck.

    What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
    They both only change their pads after the third period!

    A Surrey girl is at the welfare office and filling out forms with all her children's names. The lady behind the desk looks at the list of 7 kids, all named Bobby.
    She asks, "How do they know when you're calling for them?" The mom answers, "I just call them by their last names."

    What is a Surrey girl's motto?
    First time regular price, after that 5 bucks, 5 bucks, 5 bucks.

    How do you fuck a Surrey girl?
    You don't!

    What's the mating call of a Surrey girl?
    Gosh, I'm so drunk!

    How do you kill a Surrey girl?
    Put a mirror at the bottom of a pool.

    Why do Surrey girls wear red lipstick?
    Because red means "stop, wrong hole."

    A Surrey girl walks up to her dad and asks, "Can I borrow the car?" He says, "ok, but you have to give me head." She proceeds to give him head when she stops and says, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit!" The father replies, "Yeah, your brother wanted to borrow the car yesterday."

    A Surrey girl gets pulled over for speeding by a female Surrey RCMP officer who asks for a driver's license. She fumbles through purse and finds a compact mirror. She hands it to the lady cop, "This has my picture on it." The officer looks at it and says "Oh, I didn't know you were a cop. You're free to go."

    What's the difference between a walrus and an Surrey girl?
    One is wet, has a moustache and smells of fish - the other is a walrus.

    Why does a Surrey girl wear panties?
    To keep her ankles warm.

    Why is a Surrey girl like a dog's turd?
    The older they get, the easier they are to pick up!

    Why is a Surrey girl like a door knob?
    'Cause everybody gets a turn.

    Why is a Surrey girl like railway tracks?
    'Cause she's been laid all over the country.

    What's the difference between an Surrey girl and a broom closet?
    Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

    What's the difference between an Surrey girl and a phone booth?
    You need to pay to use the phone.
    Only one person can use the phone at once.

    What does the Bermuda Triangle and a Surrey girl have in common?
    They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

    What's the difference between an Surrey girl and a rooster?
    In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a Surrey girl says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."

    What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a bowling ball?
    You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
     

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